Train Raiding Cactus

Words: cactus, train, treasure

Once there lived a cactus, in the hottest of deserts. Although he was in the Human World, no human would ever visit him. He was all alone and even for cactuses, the heat is unbearable.

This cactus had a dream: of treasure! He always dreamed of being a pirate, scavaging ships filled with treasure, feeling the breeze of the sea! But not just any pirate: a captain! He would have control over his beloved ship!

But then he would wake up and remember his place in this world. What could he do? But wait! Trying to stretch outside his place on the ground, he comes out and falls face flat on the ground. He felt movement under his body... feet? Could it be real? His other two “heads” start moving... arms! Oh, how wonderful! This creature took shape of a humanoid by simply dreaming! But now, it was time to raid for treasure!

Long did the cactus travel along the desert, and finally it saw something else than the arid sand: a train track. Which signaled but his chance of treasure! Waiting for a train to come, days after days, he finally heard the distinct sound of a whistling train, and felt its movement in the ground. He got up, and prepared to jump. When the train reached him, he jumps and sticks to the train's wall. He got into the train. Nobody's inside, except for the man running the train.

He started looking for things to raid, but found nothing but wood. Which was really boring. But in the train's last compartment, the cactus found something amazing, that he would've never thought he'd find: GOLD!! And lots of it! He took a box he found and filled it with golden coins. Now the cactus had to wait for the train to arrive at a station, and make a run for it with the gold!

But... the train never stopped... Nor did the desert... He goes to see the man running the train, but where he thought he'd be a big dark red was waiting. It was a demon, with large dark grey horns. He runned towards the cactus, which was frozen in place. Never did the cactus feel more scared. Then the demon....

C. The cactus is not in the Human World

The demon looked at him and says: “What is a cactus like you doing outside our garden?”

The cactus was confused. What in the world??? The demon's garden?

“Mistress won't be very happy now, would she?”

The cactus, with a low, shaky voice, asked “What... garden...?”

“Well, don't you know? You, cactus, are in the Demon World. You used to be a pirate captain in the Human World and now my Mistress has taken possession of your soul. You are but a cactus soldier of her army. Now get back into the sand! We need you to grow bigger!”

The cactus jumped out of the train, sad... He found more about himself, but what he found out was horrible... He had a life, in the Human World, and it was taken away... Now he'd fight for the evil forces...

Or would he? Could he do something about this? Could he escape?

Geekspiel suggests awesome things.

To his surprise, he found an entrance to... sewers. He opened it and to his surprise a person came out. He was almost naked, but the clothes he was wearing were extremely dirty.

“*hiccup* now wassya doin' 'ere?”, he said.

“I am trapped in the Demon World, and don't know how to escape!”

The hobo drank from a bottle of what looked life Mad Dog 20/20. The bottle, now empty, magically filled up again.

“Now listen 'ere, punk! There ain't no escape in this foul world! Been 'ere ever since the 1800s and got no clue how to get out!”

The cactus stares at the tramp.

“You're THAT old???”, he said.

“There ain't no agin' in the Demon World! At least I think so...”

“Well, is there really no way out of here?”, he says, as he looks down into the sewers, where a barrel is burning. “And what the heck are you making fire in a desert?”

“Now, punk, there might be a way I know, but honestly, I don't remember..”, he said as he took another sip. “And ey, kid! Don't question my actions! Been 'ere for waay longer than you! This place gets real cold at night...”

“And do you think I haven't been here enough to be night?!”

“Not the actual night, ye dummy!”, he said. “The night's when the demons come and take the cactus idiots an' bring 'em into the army!”

“And when's that happening?!”, said the cactus alarmed.

“I don' know... ye think I count the days until y'all bastards go evil? Nah!”

What could the cactus do? He looked at the man, drinking and drinking. He didn't remember anything, but he could if he weren't drunk... But the drink always regenerated... Does he break it? What would happen next? Will the hobo jump at him? Wait, he's a spiky cactus! What could he be afraid of?

He took the tramp's drink and smashed it. He looked at the cactus, his eyes wide open, as if he was dying. His body breaks in half and from inside comes a white figure.

“Greetings, trapped human soul”, said an angellic masculine voice coming from withing the figure. “I am a gatekeeper, and can bring souls from a world to another at my will. But a foul demon fooled me with the sin of drinking. Now free, I can help you live your life again, to thank you from saving me!”

The gatkeeper raised his hands and the ground under the cactus suddenly vanished. He was being teleported!

The cactus found himself in a seaport. He was in the Human World! He could remember! All the dear memories of him and his crew, raiding ships for a living!

He stood by a ship, looking at the sun setting. His feet were in the water.

The perfect conditions have been met. The cactus breaks in half, revealing a person! He's back! He could now go meet his pirate friends! And so he did, and now he happily sails the ocean, looking for plunder!