Remote Spirits

"Beware remote spirits”, wrote Wizard Palm 6 centuries ago, in his Odd Bestiary of Odd Creatures from The Human World. But why are they dangerous? Well, I'm Vladimir Antofi, and I am here today to show you remote spirits are not to fret, but cherish!

What are remote spirits, might you ask? Well, as Wizard Palm himself says, “Remote spirits are those which dwell in the remote of a television. The remote, once broken, will unleash its devastating spirit , which will move into one of his owner's soul fragment. Such control can create disturbance in the afterlife.”. As scary as it sounds, it has been proven that remote spirits do not take control of the owner's soul, but that it can electrify the soul.

How did Wizard Palm come to that conclusion, and how did we, wizards from the Lobster Wizards of The Human World's Guild, come up with ours? Due to lack of technology, the only thing Wizard Palm could detect was the remote spirit travel and stops at the owner, penetrating its soul. He detected a slight movement in the soul and has come up with the theory. We, however, have hi-tech equipment at our disposal, and noticed that the soul would move, blindly, being pulled towards the owner's soul. So: the spirit is blind, and attracted by the soul. And we detected an electric wave in the soul. So, the spirit stimulates the soul, but into what? We studied a mouse's behavior before and after the remote spirit penetrating its soul, and we made an immense discovery. The mouse started being a lot more active, looking for things to do, learning easier. The remote spirit livens up the possessed entity, making it want to do things. The remote usually emits commands to the television, so the spirit tends to send commands. Impulses.

I am Vladimir Antofi, wizard of the Lobster Wizards of The Human World's Guild, and I hereby declare remote spirits are nothing to fear!