Attraction Distraction

Four lines. Three turn into congruent isosceles triangles, their sides larger than the base. The fourth turns into a square.

The first triangle turns green, the second purple, and the third yellow. The square turns blue.

A big red circle appears and attracts the three triangles. They stick to it. In their distraction, three little white circles, camouflaged with the paper, steal the blue square, their priceless possession. They finally notice after the circle turned pink, then light green. They press onto the circle, compressing it into a small circle, and they start to throw it. Eventually, it grows back. The fight begins.

The circle breaks in four sectors, three of them each going towards a triangle, while the fourth is drawing something. The green triangle detaches its top section and from its inside comes out a missile, heading towards the attacking sector. It dodges it but the missile reaches the sector attacking the yellow triangle, breaking it into shards. The yellow triangle puts the shards inside it after removing its top and forms a sword, heading for the sector attacking the purple triangle. It gets split in half, and the newly forms sectors stick to the sector attacking the green triangle, as if they were arms. The triangles successfully dodge some attacks before the yellow triangle manages to cut the main body in two. It then doesn't hesitate to cut it into shards.

The fourth sector has been drawing a big square, and inside appear the three white sector with the blue square. The yellow triangle quickly breaks the last sector and breaks the big square for the others to come in and ambush. They manage to catch two circles and the last is broken by the yellow triangle. The other triangles throw the white circles. The triangles and the square leave to sit , eternally, in peace, on the paper.

Wet Cold Tissue

A wet tissue. On cold metal. The tissue spreads on the surface beneath, sinking into the thin sponge hidden down below, whilst also not soaking. Black surrounds all, and there is nothing beneath the cold metal cube to hold it. It floats, though still, through the void, not moving. It seems as if it were anchored in some 3D program. Then, he comes.

He who wears no clothes, he who is warm, floating, moving through the cold black, towards the metal cube, and embraces it, mixing the boiling heat and the freezing cold together. He who feels the wet cold of the tissue on his right ear, slowly soaking, absorbing into his ear, reaching deeper and deeper. He likes it and doesn't hold back. A water drop is heard. Water drops start dripping through a hole through in the middle of the metal cube's bottom, dripping from the spongy inside, reaching what looked like a liquid surface 5 meters below, returning to the solid, invisible, transparent, inexistent state, until another one drops 5 seconds after. After 10 drops, he closes his eyes in pain, darkness in front of his eyes, and says: “My ears stopped working”. He suddenly shakes, nervously, suddenly, every 5 seconds, precisely 2.4 seconds after each water drop. After 5 drops, 3.7 seconds after the latest, he detaches from the metal cube and floats in the opposite direction through the cold black, looking scared at it.

Apple

Look at this apple as I am holding it with both of my hands in front of you in the dark cellar dimly lit by the candle on the desk behind me. Study its red color, with shades of light green, attracting the caged creature hidden away by darkness in the corner close to you. Feel its weight by studying through the power of vision in this cellar, ignoring the spiralling staircase going upstairs at the back end wall.

Birthday

It really is, no joke, my birthday today lol

The egg lies on the luxurious sofa, pouring champagne into his yolk through a funnel on its head while I enter the living room: it is my birthday. The egg turns towards me and raises the glass of champagne. I pick another glass from the wooden table and we drink. The orange enters the room, carrying a cake. It then smashes it into its head and sings the Happy Birthday song.

From near the table comes the chair, accompanied by Lucy, smiling happily. A Romanian Beaver slowly approaches us from the hallway of the luxurious mansion. A leashed large as a zeppelin shark is brought up into the ceiling of the living room, swimming through the air. Detective Rainbow looks at everything from a corner, as he has informed me he is working on another case, carefully examining everybody's feelings. A creepy man is watching a video with a 3D airplane flying and a pumpkin with crystal eyes is looking at us. Three 1 cubic meter long dice arrive, late to the party, each accompanied by their partner: a garlic glove, a pencil sharpener and a piece of orange skin. The remote spirit is observing us from above.

We dance, listening to vaporwave, naturally (my birthday, my music ;P) until the night arrives. We bring the orange, and he attaches a firework to himself and we all go to the rooftop, from where we send him flying through the sky. The firework then explodes and forms an orange on the sky while we all applaud.

“Listen everyone!”, I say as everybody turns around me. “I want to thank you all for taking part in the celebration of my birthday! You truly are wonderful friends!”. Everybody cheers and sings Happy Birthday. This really is a moment to cherish.

The Adventures of a Chair, Chapter IV

The Adventures of a Chair

Chapter IV

Enemy Territory

I hope you enjoy the ending of The Adventures of a Chair! This was fun!! Read the others here: Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III.

Lucy looks in shock at the chair. Wo... work? Pa... papers? Where is everything?? Where is she?

The chair knows her questions. “No matter”, he says. “We are leaving.”

Lucy is confused. Who is this chair and what does it want from her?

The chair goes towards the back of the classroom and looks at a map of the world. Focusing its mind on it, the continents move. On a small island are the 128 soldiers moving the island towards the continent formed from the rest: enemy territory. A little piece of land is behind the trajectory of the island: the abandoned homeland. The homeland is no more, being the Object World. The island is what is now, the Human World, and the enemy territory what is to be, the goal, any other world, or place. A fight is to arrive and the enemy territory is closer and closer to the approaching island.

Lucy is still near the greenboard and looks in shock at the entrance of the classroom, from where a shark appears, swimming as if air was its water. The soldiers have arrived on the enemy territory and are raiding an enemy camp. The chair took the decision to fight and it will now fight. But he will now protect Lucy, the goddess.

The shark heads for Lucy who looks scared at the shark. Near the greenboard sit 5 pieces of chalk: one long, brand new, two medium-sized ones and two little cubes, barely even usable. The chair controls the long, brand new chalk piece towards it, penetrating the shark's insides in the process. It then pushes the chalk piece back towards the greenboard and pierces the shark again. It falls to the ground. The chair goes towards Lucy. Lucy looks at the chair, trembling. “We need to move”, says the chair. Lucy sits on the chair and the chair leaves the school.

Outside is a grotesque view: Lucy and the chair are in the “enemy territory”. It looks like the Human World, except the sky is dark red and sharks are swimming everywhere through the thin air. Every human is running everywhere, trying to save their skin. But little do they know they are not living in the normal world, like their separate identities are.

Out of nowhere appears a giant chicken and swallows Lucy, and leaves. The chair needs to find Lucy. The chair closes its eyes. Everything turns dark. Opening its eyes in the darkness that is now surrounding him, he sees the enemy camp shaping in full size. His soldiers are... dying. Fighting, but losing. Is all hope lost? Is this it?

The darkness suddenly breaks as out of the dark red sky appears a shark and swallows the chair. And everything turns dark again. But now there is no enemy camp. Just dead soldiers. The journey is over. There is no more Lucy. There is no more Object World, Human World, Enemy World... just darkness.

Meet Henry. He is wearing a cardboard cubic box on its head. In the box are his head, a can of spilt soda, an egg, a map, chalk, a shark plushie, a doll, an apple, a coin, a miniature chicken and a miniature chair. Everybody tried talking to Henry, but he would never answer. He wouldn't move, but he still lives. So nobody bothers him. But to him, these objects have a meaning. To him, these objects have a story. Here we have the spilt soda a chair dived in, an egg a chair fought, a map a chair looked at, chalk a chair used, a shark a chair fought, a doll a chair cared for, an apple a chair used, a coin a chair received, a chicken a chair hated and... a chair. Together they created The Adventures of a Chair, a story only spoken to him, by the life of objects.

R E G R E T

I can roll a tissue on a carpet. I can then roll the carpet on the tissue. So the tissue can get stuck. Suffocate. Mercilessly. By my hand. I can place the tissue under the carpet, and let it get crushed in darkness.

I place the tissue on the carpet and cry. I care for the tissue and it doesn't deserve anything like this. But the tissue knows what I had in mind. It ignores me. Avoids me. And all I can do is cry eternally...

You could crush a tomato with a baseball bat. You could let the tomato slowly get crushed by the baseball bat's weight. You could drown the tomato in a can filled with water. You could empty out the can, plae the tomato, let it rot, and either crush it or leave it in pain.

You don't. You didn't think of any of this. Nobody ignores, nor avoids you. You haven't done anything. And all you can do is be happy.

I feel guilty. You feel happy.

I feel heavy. You feel light.

A star on the sky. Smiling at me. I look at it. I get out a ladder. I want to pick it up. I touch it. It avoids me. I climb down.

The following night, I look up, and see the star's back: I hurt it. It ignores me. I cry, and leave. It's best I leave it alone.

The following night, I peek through a window. The star ignores me. There is no hope. I leave, and cry.

I have a chair. I like my chair. It is my friend.

I want more wood. I am near the chair. I chop down one of its legs: I exploit it. I made a mistake.

I look at the chair. It doesn't look back. It ignores me. I want my chair. I want my friend back.

But I can't. It is too late. There is no hope. I cry, and leave.

Weird=awesome

Sometimes, I think I'm too weird.. I am dancing with an apple bird while singing from a chunk of meat as of writing this... But then I say to myself: how is that bad? Well... it's not!

Here, let me show you:

A knife

In a table

Stabbing

An apple

Through

A worm

Struggling

Not to drown

In Pepsi.

See what I mean? How is that bad? It's entertaining!

I can even do stuff like this:

m a shr w q

What does that mean? Bird. To me that means 'bird'.

k q u erq n

Now THAT means 'tree'.

So then 'in' will be

l g irf bn

Which pretty much means m a shr w q k q u erq n l g irf bn is bird in tree! Music to my ears!

I can do whatever I really fancy with this! Mk aq shru werq qn means bird-tree! Either a bird with leaves instead of feathers, or a tree with feathers instead of trees. It is to be understood from the given context.

There is no limit to your imagination, and don't let anyone tell you you're stupid. And if they tell you you're weird, thank them! You're not stupidly ordinary like the others! They're the weird ones -_-

Object Life

The trash can looks up at the little stand on which the sponge sits, then looks in front of it where sits a bucket. It's a miserable life.. no means to talk to those of your kind, or anybody for that matter... this life of objects... it's painful. Not to mention the dreadful inside stench of garbage and the toxic talk of the students in class, and the occasional kicks... it isn't easy, being a spectator to your very own life, unable to control anything that surrounds you.. Nobody sees you, nor notices you. Pieces of chalk sit on the floor, waiting for their painful life to end, hoping to get crushed any of the students or teachers.. Oh, how dreadful must it be to wish your life away...

The trash can looks to the right, at the wall on which sits the grand greenboard. Some objects live way better lives than others. It gets to see children grow up to men, entire generations. It's filled with written knowledge and spoken anecdotes.. If it were to be a person it would be charming and intelligent... But the trash can would be severe, a short-tempered person who wouldn't take any joke lightly.

Objects are different to, but they may all get equally good lives in the afterlife, this Object World, a second chance for objects, where they rule over the world. No filthy human can touch this sacred land.

Killing a King

 I see the tomato, grab it, and squeeze it. Its juice comes out with a splash, with chunks and occasional drips of blood. Its skin dries under the burning heat of my palm, turning into a shade of very dark red. I slice it with the cold, metallic, frozen knife and place it on the stale bread. I put it on the bright red plate and offer it to the king. The flaming hot dried tomato should kill him.

Tocks and Bocks

When the chicken bock then tock the clocks, but never has a tock met a bock.

That is until curious little Adam tried to see what tocks think of bocks and bocks of tocks. He put a chicken near a clock. The clock would tock but the chicken wouldn't bock, and when little Adam made the chicken bock the clock wouldn't tock. So Adam threw the chicken on the clock. So the chicken bocked, and the clock tocked... and out of nowhere appeared a chiclock. Adam looked at the chiclock in surprise, expecting the unexpected: what would the chiclock do? Tock or bock?

The chiclock looked at the chicken, then at the clock, and finally at Adam. It bocked, then it tocked.

That happens when a tock meets a bock.

Interaction Action?

Hello everybody! I have seen some people actually read my blog! Which is nice!!
But I don't really talk to you... ever. I write my weird stories here, and you read them (which is awesome, it's hard for me to believe I have people who come here for more). So I wanted to interact with you guys!
You can either comment down below (scroll down and you'll see it) or tweet something at me on Twitter (@Vladimir520Ant)! I will be replying to all of you (because really, no notification goes unread here).

Walking on Orange Alley at night

I wrote this text for English contest preparations. I wonder how my teacher will react... Anyways, it had to be 120-130 words long, without the given ending “It was only then that I realised they had mistaken me for someone else.”.

The one shortcut I knew to his house was Orange Alley. I had no choice, as it was late.

Everything was so... grim, severe in this particular alley, in contrast with the town's crazy night life. Some oranges were playing cards while others were warming their hands at fire barrels, an odd thing, considering how easily orange burn themselves. Everybody was giving me weird looks: what was an egg doing in such a place at night?

Through a narrow gap between two flats came four orages, carrying a cracked unconscious egg. Yolk with blood was dripping from the little crack, which looked like a hole from a gunshot.

One orange gave me a creepy smile I have yet to forget, greeted me and made me hide the egg with them and leave after calling me... Bert?

It was only then that I realised they had mistaken me for someone else.

The Adventures of a Chair, Chapter III

The Adventures of a Chair

Chapter III

Lucy

The human in the bed yawns and wakes up, opening its eyes. It gets up. It's wearing pijamas. It gets to the bathroom to get ready for work.

Given by the make-up on the table near the chair the human must be a female. The chair notices a small square nightstand near the bed. The chair slowly goes to it, and focuses its mind on it. An 8x8 grid appears, revealing a grotesque view to the chair: its entire army, massacred. The king, lying dead on the ground. The Egg's Kingdom even stole the king's crown. The battle was lost. The chair is crushed. It meant his life was ruined. Something else was going to happen. He needed forget the past life from whence he came. This is it now.

The human gets out of the bathroom, all suit up. It looks to pick up its bag from the... chair. But it is not there. It looks and sees the chair sitting by the nightstand, looking at a dead army of little 2 inch tall soldiers and a crownless king. She lets out a scream, and the chair moves out of its place in shock. Then, something least expected happens, something the chair would never think it ever could be able to: the chair talks. The chair lets out a scream.

-Y-you... says the human, c-can.. talk?

-I guess so...

-And those are...? it says looking at the dead army.

-My army. It died. Now my life changed. I am unable to reach the place I left from. I belong here now.

-O.. oh... m-my n-name is.. Lucy...

-I guess my name is... Chair?

-Y-yeah... Look, I gotta go to work, we can.. discuss this later..?

Lucy leaves. The chair, amazed by its recently discovered speaking abilities, decides to speak to itself. It murmurs sentences such as 'I am a fox running over a lazy dog looking at the sun covered with a tissue'. The chair finally becomes bored and decides to head for Lucy.

It gets out on the street. But nobody seems to notice the presence of this chair wandering about. It slowly crawls on the streets and reaches the main road. It is a Sunday early morning and the presence of 7 cars driving very close to each other, as a group, on the empty roads seems weird. The chair looks at them and asks:

-Who are you? What are you doing?

Out of each window comes out a man, near which stands another man driving. They all say in a choir:

-Visiting our sweethearts! We all have an affair!

The chair looks at them and thinks. Finally, it speaks:

-Don't your wives notice you're leaving?

-They sure do, but they don't mind! They know!

-Why are you all going in the same direction?

-We are going to the Affairs building!

The chair looks and tries to understand the oddity of this world it has reached. At last, it looks at them and says:

-Good day, gentlemen.

-Good day to you too! They reply as they get out their hats and throw them on the street, get in the chair, close the car windows and leave.

The chair goes at the hats and picks them up. By which it means they sit stacked one over the other on the chair's seat. It continues to walk on the street. A man comes by: bald, with a thick mustard yellow moustache, white blouse and yellow vest, with the same color as the moustache. He gets a hat from the chair, then gets out a coin and puts it on the chair's seat. Then a lady comes by: high-heeled shoes, with curly ketchup red hair, black clothes and a red dog, with the same color as the hair and shoes. She gets another hat from the chair, then gets out a coin and puts it on the chair's seat. Same do a bearded guacamole green man, a mayo white lady with a cat, a moustached curry yellow man and a barbeque brown lady with a parrot. Now the chair has one hat with 6 coins inside on its seat.

The chair walks inside a school besides the road. It enters a classroom and sits there, looking for Lucy. The school bell rings and the children get up. 6 of them get a coin from the hat on the chair and put an apple inside. The teacher dresses up and gets the hat from the chair, eats an apple and leaves. There are five apples on the chair, sitting in a pyramid form.

The chair goes towards the teacher's desk and finds a bowl of 3 golden fish. The chair focuses its mind on them and they are cut into squares. The fish squares now sit horizontally in the bowl, floating and forming a little board, with coordinates of X from 0 to 15 and Y from 0 to 7. On each square of the rectangle between X=0 and Y=0 to X=15 and Y=3 appears a soldier, facing positive Y, ready for battle: a new army. “Onwards”, says the chair, as the soldiers start jumping from a square to another, trying not to fall. They are heading for an enemy camp. The chair is looking for a purpose.

It then puts the 5 apples on the teacher's desk with his mind, one by one. Then gets chalk from the greenboard and draws a stickman. At each hand and foot sits an apple, also does one where the head is. The chair looks and focuses its mind. It thinks and travels through the most complicated of mind tunnels, searching within the depths of the Human World, focusing his mind on...

Lucy. Where is Lucy? Where could she be? Where can he find her. Entering an office building far away, with his mind, getting to the 4^th floor and turning right twice, he finds her.

On the teacher's desk is miraculously formed Lucy's body, replacing the chalk and apples from the teacher's desk, growing and growing more in size...

The Thread Raiders Evolution

Before I begin this conversation, chapter 3 of The Chair is coming soon! Read the first two chapters here: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

For those of you don't know, I am a Thread Raider (read this). And I have an interesting topic of discussion regarding this.

We seem to have gone from Twitter to Discord. @Cptsugarbear on Twitter, former Thread Raider, changed his old Discord group into the Thread Raiders Discord Group (awesome dude, check him out!). Now, we are a small community. A very small community. And all of our conversations are either D&D-related projects and casual conversations. With the creation of this group, all this, quite few conversations have been moved along into different text channels. Twitter is barely in use for the Thread Raiders. Of COURSE we still do interact with the amazing #dnd community and some of us aren't even in the group! But most Thread Raiders focused conversations are now in the Discord group.

Now, what does this mean? Are the Thread Raiders losing what they first were? NO. Absolutely not. You could look at these in more ways:

The Thread Raiders are now less accessible. We are, at core, nerds who just like to chat and hang out. A community built on love and love only. We stand for positivity in this world of Internet which is so, SO filled with toxicity. We aren't the only ones, a lot of people are positive in this world in which it's so simple to type some words to some comment, but some don't think about the consequences. While most of us are D&D fans/gamers, we accept anybody. But moving into a private group kinda makes us less accessible.

On the other hand, we are evolving. We are moving into another place, where it is easier to discuss things. In the past, using only Twitter meant casual conversations with funny replies and gifs. Now, we can make projects and stand for what we stand for. By moving in Discord we become more and more self-aware. We aren't detaching from the #dnd community of Twitter, which is freaking amazing! We are creating our own corner, which makes us a different community. We are still a sub-community of the #dnd world, but still, we are evolving. Also, this speed of messaging we are now in makes things go a lot faster, and also, all conversations are actually easier to find! You can see there's new messages in the Discord group, but it's harder to find threads in the network of Twitter people just forgot to mention you in. If we had to mention each other, that would basically mean there is a limit to our growth. We would have to type in every single member of the Thread Raiders just to talk about, say, our Minecraft server (I am not going to talk about that, don't ask). Now we are gathered in this place, and aiming for the greater.

Snail. I. Bathtub. Foot Crush (brace)

Snail

in bathtub

crawling

slowly

towards the sinkhole

I

watch

disturbed

turn shower on

Bathtub

slippery

wet

slimy

from snail

Snail

slippery

slips

reaches sinkhole

sits there

drowning

sad

I

desperate

foot

crush

Snail

crushed

destroyed

hopeless

dying

broken shell

mass of slime

Bathtub

slimy

slippery

Weird words to disturb you:

crunchy

crispy

banana meaty insides+snail mucus

mucus

taste

Analysis of a Freestyle sentence

I decided to make an in depth analysis of one of the Freestle Writing sentences from the previous post, together with a translation.

Gehn'ich Weld in col-Stuck-lecten Fire for. Have-now-be, Mark, ecout-und Vat-dein-er.

Ok, so, here's the translation:

“I am going in the forest to collect sticks for fire. Now, Mark, behave and listen to your father.”

“gehen” is a verb in German, meaning “to go”. A shorter version is created, “gehn”, and is kept that way, without a conjugation, also adding in “ich”, meaning “I”, also in German. They mix in together nicely, resulting in “Gehn'ich”. To create a musicality in the sentece and change up the topic a little the order of the words is changed, “Weld”, meaning “forest” in German and “in”. “Weld” is written with a capital letter due to the fact that, in German, nouns always begin with a capital letter. Any article is removed as it is no longer needed in our newly formed topic. It needs to be short and simplist. “col-Stuck-lecten” can be separated into “collecten” and “Stuck”. “collecten” is the verb “to collect” in English turned into a German verb using “-en”, present in (almost all) German verbs: schwimmen, trinken, treffen etc. “Stuck” means "stick" in German and is written with a capital letter because of the German rule presented beforehand. The reason for this travel in the forest is explained in the last noun-preposition group, previously met before in “Weld in”: “Fire for”. Everything is pretty self explanatory. Also “Fire” is written with a capital letter like all other nouns in this sentence.

The word “behave” is separated, inspired by the prefixes commonly used in German to form other verbs, for example “kommen”, “to come” turns into “bekommen”, “to get”. Also, linked with this verb used in the Imperative is the time mentioned “now”, resulting in “Have-now-be”. Also “have” is pronounced “hayve”. The link verb-conjuction is used here, similar to the noun-preposition one. The verb is a French one, “ecouter”, meaning “to listen”, used at the Imperative with the German rule, with which the Imperative form of a verb is formed removing the infinitive suffix. The French suffix here is “-er”, which is removed, “ecout-” now being mixed with the conjuction “und” from German, meaning “and”. The verb “to listen” instantly requires the “to” preposition (“to listen to”), and, following the short-and-simplist aspect of the phrase, it is no longer used. “Vat-dein-er” is similar to “col-Stuck-lecten” and “have-now-be”, as the first and last pieces form together the main word the middle components link to. “Vater” means father in German and “dein” means “your”, also in German.

Well, I hope you enjoyed, as this gave me a massive headache and it will probably give you one too!